It's a romantic notion really...sitting in candlelight as the rain falls on our metal roof above. Just the sounds of Garcia and Grisman, the smells of our handmade beeswax candles, the orange glow of one another's face... lulling us into a peaceful evening.
And I'm tired...I'm feeling myself wanting to drift off and surrender to the kind darkness that surrounds us.
Managed to convince the family today that the only lighting necessary was the kitchen. (As an aside, our kitchen is a dark space. While our house is an open concept ski chalet design, the kitchen window is blocked by a support wall.) Bedtime this evening was a quick and easy 30min for my partner and little C. When L and I got home she quickly transitioned into bedtime mode, alas when I got up to her room she had both lights in her room on...I think she will be the hardest sell on all of this.
I was thinking today that we really have come to take advantage of convenience. This endeavour is a real indicator of how we have done that. In times past, flipping a switch was not an option. You had to really plan for when you wanted something to be illuminated. There was not an infinite amount of lamp oil. So just having a light on, in the background, was not a wise option. Alas, we have grown used to that idea. We turn on a light in our kitchen so to have a lit up space that we aren't even actually using in the moment. How frivolous really.
So tonight we are in candlelight by choice. A choice to change the notion of convenience...despite how this all began, this choice feels beyond the initial intent and just simply feels appropriate.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
Thus far
The experiment began last week...it began on a beautiful sunny day and it was simple and pleasant and ended with a 20 minute bedtime and one happy mama!
The following day was gloomy and dull and we needed to figure out some groundwork for this all...lights were necessary for productivity in our home and hence, we decided we would turn out the lights after dinner...
An early dinner meant that before bedtime we still had a couple hours of no artificial light and bedtime was 15 minutes!!
Alas...as I have learned in my creation of rhythms for our family, there is always a challenge to every well laid plan. Each Monday the kids and I get home quite late...tonight it was exceptionally late as I was held up helping my parents out in town. When we got home, artificial light was the last thing on my mind as I had to deal with a child who had potentially been given an allergenic food, getting dinner into the kids and my hungry self, and getting sleepy people to bed, not to mention that my partner had plans to go out after we ate.
And sure enough, with no intent of anything except the norm, my partner had all of the lights on in the house when I got home. After I spent some time turning lights out and lighting candles to the dismay of my grumbling family...we probably had a total of 30 minutes of artificial light free time. And it was awfully dark in our house due to the rainy weather and the time of night. More grumbling pursued. Bedtime came along...rhythms were already broken...important pieces were missed and C and I ended up with an hour long bedtime.
BUT it didn't leave me feeling as let down as you might expect...if you'll look back on the introduction, 1 hour is lovely! We have had 2 hour + bedtimes as a norm for as long as I can remember. So tonight here's what we did and how it ended...
We gobbled down our supplements and skipped brushing our teeth because he was simply melting down and I was worried about missing the boat. We snuggled and hugged L goodnight while she decided to read to herself in her room by the light of her headlamp (I let it go). C and I climbed into our rocking chair with jammies on to read our nighttime stories and then settled in for some mama milk. Now let me tell you about this nursing toddler of mine...I can tell when he's going to nurse for a bit and then simply drift off to sleep (as he fascinatingly does each day at naptime in about 10-20min)...and tonight was quite the opposite. There is hair pulling. There is kicking. There is setting him down because I'm tired of the hair pulling and kicking. There is singing. There is dancing. There is actually some breastfeeding as well somewhere in there. But mostly it's kicking, hair pulling, singing and dancing in my lap. Oh and a few other super annoying toddler nursing antics (if you're a nursing mother I'm SURE you can relate). About 30 minutes into this crazy so called routine of ours I changed it up. We got into bed and laid down together to snuggle. We talked about sleep and said goodnight to our friends, nature and the animals in the forest. Then came the requests for more stories and more mama milk and more water and more snacks...I took a break to get him some flower essences that have proven helpful in the past. I came back and we laid back down while I sang him a song.
This next part has NEVER, not once, not EVER happened. He simply drifted off to sleep while I sang to him. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! I snuck out of the room with giddy excitement and he's been asleep ever since, not even woken up by the customary loud partner crawling into bed!!!
Ok so...nothing I did tonight was any different than any other night in the past while. EXCEPT...we did try to limit our artificial light tonight. It wasn't an excellent attempt but it was an attempt.
I'm making zero claims to success here...I'm just stating the facts of our evening. And thus far, I'm thrilled!
The following day was gloomy and dull and we needed to figure out some groundwork for this all...lights were necessary for productivity in our home and hence, we decided we would turn out the lights after dinner...
An early dinner meant that before bedtime we still had a couple hours of no artificial light and bedtime was 15 minutes!!
Alas...as I have learned in my creation of rhythms for our family, there is always a challenge to every well laid plan. Each Monday the kids and I get home quite late...tonight it was exceptionally late as I was held up helping my parents out in town. When we got home, artificial light was the last thing on my mind as I had to deal with a child who had potentially been given an allergenic food, getting dinner into the kids and my hungry self, and getting sleepy people to bed, not to mention that my partner had plans to go out after we ate.
And sure enough, with no intent of anything except the norm, my partner had all of the lights on in the house when I got home. After I spent some time turning lights out and lighting candles to the dismay of my grumbling family...we probably had a total of 30 minutes of artificial light free time. And it was awfully dark in our house due to the rainy weather and the time of night. More grumbling pursued. Bedtime came along...rhythms were already broken...important pieces were missed and C and I ended up with an hour long bedtime.
BUT it didn't leave me feeling as let down as you might expect...if you'll look back on the introduction, 1 hour is lovely! We have had 2 hour + bedtimes as a norm for as long as I can remember. So tonight here's what we did and how it ended...
We gobbled down our supplements and skipped brushing our teeth because he was simply melting down and I was worried about missing the boat. We snuggled and hugged L goodnight while she decided to read to herself in her room by the light of her headlamp (I let it go). C and I climbed into our rocking chair with jammies on to read our nighttime stories and then settled in for some mama milk. Now let me tell you about this nursing toddler of mine...I can tell when he's going to nurse for a bit and then simply drift off to sleep (as he fascinatingly does each day at naptime in about 10-20min)...and tonight was quite the opposite. There is hair pulling. There is kicking. There is setting him down because I'm tired of the hair pulling and kicking. There is singing. There is dancing. There is actually some breastfeeding as well somewhere in there. But mostly it's kicking, hair pulling, singing and dancing in my lap. Oh and a few other super annoying toddler nursing antics (if you're a nursing mother I'm SURE you can relate). About 30 minutes into this crazy so called routine of ours I changed it up. We got into bed and laid down together to snuggle. We talked about sleep and said goodnight to our friends, nature and the animals in the forest. Then came the requests for more stories and more mama milk and more water and more snacks...I took a break to get him some flower essences that have proven helpful in the past. I came back and we laid back down while I sang him a song.
This next part has NEVER, not once, not EVER happened. He simply drifted off to sleep while I sang to him. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! I snuck out of the room with giddy excitement and he's been asleep ever since, not even woken up by the customary loud partner crawling into bed!!!
Ok so...nothing I did tonight was any different than any other night in the past while. EXCEPT...we did try to limit our artificial light tonight. It wasn't an excellent attempt but it was an attempt.
I'm making zero claims to success here...I'm just stating the facts of our evening. And thus far, I'm thrilled!
Introducing lights out...
I am a sleep deprived mother to a fantastic toddler...who rejects sleep. Our journey has been a progressive experiment of many different facets to the reasons he doesn't sleep well. We have looked at food allergies, intolerances and sensitivities (of which he has many). We have explored creating solid bedtime routines, of which we have a lovely one. We have introduced specific herbs, homeopathic remedies, and supplements which have all appeared to have helped for a limited amount of time before their effect fizzled out to some extent. We have begun a beautiful daily and evening rhythm that when consistent appeared to have created a perfect atmosphere for great sleep...but only in the rest of us, never our 2 year old. There are many labels that I really struggle with using for C...alas, spirited does come to mind as a primary example. I know that many other parents of "spirited" children share this challenge of missing out on a reasonable amount of sleep.
But despite all of this, we recently came across a very interesting piece of information about artificial light. The artificial light I have come to enjoy might actually be creating a perfect storm of sleeplessness for my sweet boy. I spent some time pondering, meditating and discussing this information and these are the thoughts that came to mind...
I am no stranger to an environment without artificial light. Prior to becoming a mother I moved to the far north and lived off the grid in both Yukon and Interior Alaska. During these amazing experiences I learned to live without artificial light out of necessity. I also grew to love living by the light generated by candles, lanterns and mostly the sun, moon and the stars. When my daughter was born, her first year and a half was spent living between a tiny off grid cabin and a wall tent. While she certainly wasn't the greatest sleeper (due to other issues I have since discovered), she never had difficulties falling asleep at night, and napped daily for 3-4 hours.
Fast forward to now...our home is modest and we actually do not have overhead lighting...which is due to a terrible design rather than our own doings!!...and yet, we are very much accustomed to having our lights on from the moment the sun begins to set until we go to sleep at night. We actually have even started sleeping with a light on in our kitchen, to ease the multiple nighttime wakings which often result in the need to come to the kitchen for some reason or another, since our son was born two years ago. This said...we are dependent on artificial light and I've made a decision to try to end our dependence at least in an experiment to see how it affects our child's sleep and circadian rhythm.
This post begins the experiment...
I'm working with the following participants, who inevitably are included in my experiment as a simple fact of living in the home of this sleep deprived mama:
A reluctant partner who decidedly despises even eating by candlelight.
A 9 year old who turns on her bedroom light, the hall light, and the bathroom light to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night on a regular basis.
A 2 year old who has yet to form an opinion on artificial light in general, yet has a fascination with candles...hence creates a slight hazard to my plan to have candles lit in place of artificial lights.
A mama who is sleepy, yet determined that after 2+ years of working to sort out why our son is so reluctant to fall asleep at nighttime, that there simply must be an answer and HOPES with all her will that this could be a giant piece of the puzzle.
AND...a north facing home, settled in a dense, yet beautiful forest in Southern Ontario, Canada with not a single south facing window!
As an aside, I will also state that I have also developed a huge addiction to artificial lighting. I admit to having a slight fear of the dark...and the comfort of having lights on in the darkness of a gloomy, rainy evening and even darker night is going to be an enormous challenge for me to overcome.
My rules are still to be discussed with the above stated reluctant partner...tho I am hopeful that they will be similar to these:
1. Lights may be used during daytime hours when the lighting outside is limited due to weather. (ie. a dark, stormy day)
2. Lights on those days are to be turned over to candlelight no later than 6pm in order to mimic the dwindling twighlight.
3. A kitchen light is permitted in order to clean up from dinner and prepare the evening snack/supplements for the children.
Still to be determined:
Storytime lighting
Nightlight in the bathroom
Evening computer, handheld device use for adults (we are screen free for our children)
Plan for when guests visit
I really feel that this is going to be a challenging journey...but I am a firm believer in embracing change and willing to take the plunge...
But despite all of this, we recently came across a very interesting piece of information about artificial light. The artificial light I have come to enjoy might actually be creating a perfect storm of sleeplessness for my sweet boy. I spent some time pondering, meditating and discussing this information and these are the thoughts that came to mind...
I am no stranger to an environment without artificial light. Prior to becoming a mother I moved to the far north and lived off the grid in both Yukon and Interior Alaska. During these amazing experiences I learned to live without artificial light out of necessity. I also grew to love living by the light generated by candles, lanterns and mostly the sun, moon and the stars. When my daughter was born, her first year and a half was spent living between a tiny off grid cabin and a wall tent. While she certainly wasn't the greatest sleeper (due to other issues I have since discovered), she never had difficulties falling asleep at night, and napped daily for 3-4 hours.
Fast forward to now...our home is modest and we actually do not have overhead lighting...which is due to a terrible design rather than our own doings!!...and yet, we are very much accustomed to having our lights on from the moment the sun begins to set until we go to sleep at night. We actually have even started sleeping with a light on in our kitchen, to ease the multiple nighttime wakings which often result in the need to come to the kitchen for some reason or another, since our son was born two years ago. This said...we are dependent on artificial light and I've made a decision to try to end our dependence at least in an experiment to see how it affects our child's sleep and circadian rhythm.
This post begins the experiment...
I'm working with the following participants, who inevitably are included in my experiment as a simple fact of living in the home of this sleep deprived mama:
A reluctant partner who decidedly despises even eating by candlelight.
A 9 year old who turns on her bedroom light, the hall light, and the bathroom light to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night on a regular basis.
A 2 year old who has yet to form an opinion on artificial light in general, yet has a fascination with candles...hence creates a slight hazard to my plan to have candles lit in place of artificial lights.
A mama who is sleepy, yet determined that after 2+ years of working to sort out why our son is so reluctant to fall asleep at nighttime, that there simply must be an answer and HOPES with all her will that this could be a giant piece of the puzzle.
AND...a north facing home, settled in a dense, yet beautiful forest in Southern Ontario, Canada with not a single south facing window!
As an aside, I will also state that I have also developed a huge addiction to artificial lighting. I admit to having a slight fear of the dark...and the comfort of having lights on in the darkness of a gloomy, rainy evening and even darker night is going to be an enormous challenge for me to overcome.
My rules are still to be discussed with the above stated reluctant partner...tho I am hopeful that they will be similar to these:
1. Lights may be used during daytime hours when the lighting outside is limited due to weather. (ie. a dark, stormy day)
2. Lights on those days are to be turned over to candlelight no later than 6pm in order to mimic the dwindling twighlight.
3. A kitchen light is permitted in order to clean up from dinner and prepare the evening snack/supplements for the children.
Still to be determined:
Storytime lighting
Nightlight in the bathroom
Evening computer, handheld device use for adults (we are screen free for our children)
Plan for when guests visit
I really feel that this is going to be a challenging journey...but I am a firm believer in embracing change and willing to take the plunge...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)